Tag Archives: zombie

Weird Erotica. REALLY Weird.

One of the things you learn working in a book store is that there are some seriously strange books out there.  And just when you thought you’d seen the strangest one out there – nope, that’s just been annihilated.  Some of the weirdest, to me, is the erotica stuff – and I am not a prude by any means, but some of the titles made me giggle uncontrollably.  Here are some of my favorites:


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Taken by the T-Rex.  Who looks at a T-Rex and thinks “sexy”?  Christie Sims, that’s who.

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Wouldn’t you worry about bits falling off?  Are they hoping for bits falling off?  I don’t understand.

9216061Aster Zhen is clearly going for a very niche market here.  Not just a zombie queen, a mutilated lesbian zombie queen.  Ok then.

a524dfe4f9d1bf709b2022e5c1fe87865385275f-thumbJ.J. Abraham apparently writes all kinds of mythological sexy books.  If giant fire-breathing lizards do it for you (I’m looking at you, Daenerys). Abraham is your girl.

covers_335466The title.  The cover.  Chuck Tingle (obviously his real name) is a genius.

51t7MLGcS1L._AA324_PIkin4,BottomRight,-60,22_AA346_SH20_OU15_I may be forced to purchase this, just to figure out what the hell is going on here.  How would this work?  Where did this idea even come from?  SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS HAPPENING!  Can’t think about this book without laughing.

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Who looks forward to the zombie apocalypse?

Who looks forward to the zombie apocalypse?  The answer is, apparently, a lot of people.  Maybe not really, but it’s clear that speculation on what we would or would not do in the event of a zombie apocalypse is a favorite topic of conversation.  Some people plan to head for a forested area, and live off the land.  Some people want to stay in an urban environment, for easy fortification and access to supplies.  Some would head for sea.  I, as previously stated, would head for somewhere really really cold.  Ever see a zombie in a parka and mittens?  Exactly.  I refuse to consider the possibility of zombie penguins.

Some of my readers have shared the reasons they like discussing the zombie scenario.  Most of them revolve around a desire to imagine a life without nonsense.  It would be stripped to necessities, all etiquette, social climbing, and fashion sense rendered immediately useless.  Ok, more useless.

I find freedom in imagining a world where all the material stuff, all the celebrity ridiculousness, and reality shows, and social standing, stops mattering, because mankind has managed to collectively focus on something more important.  Not that I think a zombie apocalypse would be a good thing, but sometimes trying to pretend that the superficial is important gets to me.  And so picturing myself with a composite bow picking off zombies, and debating escape plans in case of a zombie infestation makes life a little less mundane.   Besides, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared…

So what do you need, in terms of know-how, for the zombie apocalypse? Someone who knows how to dress game.  Someone who knows how to start a fire without matches.  Edible plant knowledge.  First aid.  Battle strategy.    Do you bring people to care for and teach children?  What about books? Music?  Do you set off with a gun, field rations, and water purification tablets?  Do you try to save some of our history and culture?  Strictly what’s needed to keep you alive, or bring food for the soul, too?

Here are a few more good sources of zombie survival info:

If you’re going to fight zombies, better know what your best weapons are, what to target, and how to fight singly and in groups, against one zombie or a horde.  The Zombie Combat Manual, by Roger Ma, can help.

A good hunter can get inside the brain… or, something, of his prey.  A zombie hunter must be able to think… erm, shamble mindlessly, like a zombie.  Uh… I’m sure this is useful.  There’s gotta be some zombies that are sneaky, right?  Well, if you want to find the sneaky ones, check out Zombies: A Hunter’s Guide.

This book is called The Mammoth Book of Zombie Apocalypse.    Why wouldn’t you read it?

Oh, and for humor:

Because humor is definitely needed for survival.  And if Zombies Hate Stuff can’t make you laugh while the world’s ending, nothing will.   FYI: zombies hate roving bands of ninjas.  Who knew?

 

So.  Given 5 days of warning, what do you do?  Who do you bring, what do you take, where do you go?

C.

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Necrophilia? You can love zombies, but you shouldn’t “love” zombies.

In terms of response and traffic, my post Everybody Loves Zombies  had an overwhelming response.  Also, zombie penguins.  Which made me stop and think… why, exactly, does everybody love zombies?  Where did we even get the idea of zombies?  Why won’t this zombie thing go away?  So, in order to stop having audienceless monologues like a supervillain without the lair, I will be writing a few posts on zombies.  This first one: zombigenesis.   Where did zombies come from?

There are stories from cultures all over the globe that feature animated corpses.  Anchimayen, basically zombie children, in Spain.  The draugr, who guards graves in Norway.   The jiang shi, from China, Vetala from India.

The zombies in books, graphic novels, and movies, mostly have their origins in the zombies of Voudoun.  Practitioners believe that they are corpses controlled by bokor, Voudoun sorcerers who practice black magic.  One scientist (for more on this, see his book The Serpent and the Rainbow), whose specialty is ethnobotany, thinks that the zombies are created by basically drugging someone out of his/her mind, including ingredients that make the victim extremely suggestible.  Like being frequently dosed with Rohypnol.  Incredibly creepy, but not exactly raising the dead.

Why, though, have zombies captured our collective imaginations?  The first zombie movie came out in the late 1930s, and since then it’s been a genre that just won’t… die.  Sorry, had to. Also, let’s not just look at zombies that are called zombies.  What about mummies?  Basically zombies, but more stylishly dressed.  What about people that are just empty shells, being controlled by alien puppet-masters?  Still zombies.  If you expand your definition of zombie to anything where someone that is dead, and despite that is still walking around (debating inserting joke about bible being original zombie story), zombies show up even more often than you think.

Is it a fear of death, of the body’s fragility, that makes us fascinated by zombies?  Because the zombies aren’t showing up in rom-coms (Corpse Bride excepted, and really anything by Tim Burton), they’re in some of the most disturbing books and movies of all time.  Is it literally coming face-to-face with mortality, in all it’s scariest , lingering, painful forms (radioactivity, virulent disease, evil magic)?  The desire to be able to kick the ass of Death, preferably with a sawed-off shotgun, a la Bruce Campbell?

Or maybe we just like being grossed out.

My first zombie experiences were Thriller,  and The Hilarious House of Frankenstein (I don’t remember which came first), both of which featured Vincent Price, possessor of the world’s creepiest voice.  I know my sister agrees, because I used to use his part of  the “Thriller” track  to send her fleeing out of our shared room.   I still love B-movie zombie flicks more than sincere horror.  Bruce Campbell will always hold a special place in my heart.  Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, Army of Darkness… For books, after the ones I have already mentioned, I will note  The Cell, by Stephen King.  Good, classic, hide-under-the-blankets horror.

So.  Where did your love of zombies start?

C.

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Everybody Loves Zombies

A lot of the conversations I’ve had lately have had the topic of zombies come up.   One recent discussion with coworkers involved debating what actions we would take, given the zombie apocalypse (My vote is to head for the Arctic, others thought staying on the move and raiding small towns… it got heated).

The Walking Dead tv series is possibly one source of zombies on the brain (either that or the Oscars, and thoughts of Joan Rivers).  The tv series is based on the graphic novels of the same name, which are definitely worth checking out, and have a depth of storyline to them that isn’t often found in zombie stories.

walking deadnulljoan rivers

In fact, there are a lot of books that can be classified as zombie lit, ranging from survival manuals to novels, and a few in between.  Here are a few I recommend, with some suggestions from fellow zombie-loving (in the story sense, no necrophilia here) friends.

Want to plan for the zombie apocalypse?  Here’s your go-to guide.

zombie survival

I have mentioned Pride & Prejudice & Zombies before… this book will create a whole lot of new Jane Austen fans.  Loved it.

prideprejudicezombies

World War “Z”  comes highly recommended by several of the staff at the bookstore – written as a nonfiction account of the history of the zombie war, the new perspective alone makes it worth checking out.  Apparently it is being made into a movie, too.

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For those who like mixing reading about the undead with reading about kinky sex (and who doesn’t), the   Laurell K. Hamilton’s series is full of zombies, as well as vampires, werewolves, and assorted other creatures of the night.  These books are definitely not Twilight (and I’m not just talking about the sex).  The stories are pretty dark, and can be downright uncomfortable.  But they are almost never bland, at least.  This is the cover of the newest one, coming soon:

Anyways, enough from me… have a great zombie read to recommend?  Let me know!  Also, I’d love to hear what your zombie apocalypse strategy is.

C.

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