Monthly Archives: July 2012

Zombie Sex


No, seriously.  Out of a very badly misplaced sense of curiosity, I borrowed a book entitled Rigor Amortis, an anthology of… zombie erotica.  Yup, that’s right, zombie erotica.  I just had to know.  I’m pretty sure the anthology was compiled because someone thought of it, and then they just had to know.

You want a really weird read, this will do it.  Some of the stories are just love stories, but believe me when I say that if you thought you’d been grossed out before, graphic descriptions of zombie sex will bring it to a whole new level.  I have to say, if there’s a volume two, I won’t be perusing.

I love zombies, but I don’t love zombies.  Not my cup of tea, but hey, now I can say I’ve read zombie erotica.  The weird looks alone are worth it, plus all the terrible necrophilia jokes I can make now.

Serendipitously, one of my beloved coworkers called me saying that a customer was looking for a gift for a zombie-lover who had read everything mainstream, and could I remind her of the title of the book I’d just read, since it definitely didn’t qualify as mainstream.  At least I think that’s what she said in between the snorting and laughing.

Christie

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how to get kicked out of a book store…

Source: http://imgur.com/gallery/iBleZ

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Fifty Shades Abusive… Duh

 

I’d love to think that maybe other people are being convinced by what I write, but I have the feeling that I’m preaching to the choir.

That being said, my feelings about Fifty Shades of Grey have been, once again, validated.  This time, a woman who was interviewed on talk show “This Morning” spoke about her own Fifty Shades style relationship – and they weren’t fond memories.

According to the UK Daily Mail , the mother of two recalled her relationship with someone who was charismatic, charming, and worldly-seeming… and was also abusive and controlling.

Here’s a quote from the article:

Speaking to Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford, she said: ‘We started seeing one another more but I was very concerned that he wasn’t very affectionate, he was aloof and didn’t seem to be very warm.

‘I don’t know why, because he was very charming, there was an air of arrogance and he was very clever with words. He talked me round.’

E.L. James’s novel has become a best-seller but many worry that men are taking advantage of the sex it portrays

When Sarah questioned why he wasn’t very tactile, he explained that he had experienced a troubled childhood and asked Sarah to be more patient with him.

‘He initially asked me if I had ever been tied up and I said I had never done anything like that.

‘It was very gentle to start with, trying new things, it was exciting. It wasn’t at all abusive but things gradually progressed and became more and more frightening.’

Sarah was left feeling as though she had led a very naive life and not indulged in what other people did, or so Tim made her believe.

Dr Jo Helens, a behavioural psychologist said: ‘Because he was so charming, he lulled Sarah into this sense of “it’s fun, it’s role play”

‘But this man is an abuser, he made Sarah a victim by talking all of the control and making her feel rather foolish.’

Sarah added: ‘At first I felt safe but then he asked me to write a contract stipulating what I had to do.

‘It was a game, I didn’t take it seriously, he made it theatrical.

‘But then the games were becoming very extreme and painful and I was afraid.’

Following on from their intimate adventures, Sarah was left in pain for weeks with serious injuries.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2174824/Fifty-Shades-Of-Grey-Real-life-Anastasia-Steele-warns-dangers-abusive-relationship.html#ixzz210GFyLJ1

Romance novels, erotic novels, they’re fiction.  In that genre, people don’t get STDs.  They don’t end up getting hospitalized or killed by an abusive partner.  Because it’s a beautiful fantasy (well, sometimes), but it’s a fantasy.  There’s a reason it’s called fiction, people.  Take some ideas from it, fine.  Imagine it, okay.  But entering into a relationship and expecting it to work out like a storybook… is not going to give you a happy ending.

Christie

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Kobo Touch Completely Changed

You’re now comfortable with your Kobo Touch, navigating it easily, understand how to get around the occasional issue.

Well, hey, that’s no challenge!  So Kobo has decided that maybe Touch users were feeling left out when the Vox went all wonky temporarily with the new Google Play update.  Better completely change the interface.  With no warning.  Ta da!

Sigh.

If you’re having issues downloading new books, or accessing the store, or connecting wirelessly in general, it may be because of changes to the Kobo end of the connection.  So, ladies and gentlemen, prepare to update.  It may take a few attempts before the update downloads, for reasons unknown to me, but persist, or things will continue to behave oddly.

Good news: the recommendations are gone off the home screen.

Bad news: it’s completely, totally different, to the point where a customer showed me their device, asking for help, and my reply was “What the F*ck is this?”

I promise to go over all the changes, and will attempt to produce something like an updated manual, since apparently Kobo has no intention of updating the manual that comes with, despite the fact that it has been almost totally irrelevant for some time now.

Good night, and good luck.

Christie

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My Sarcastic Hero!

Jim Butcher has a series of novels starring Harry Dresden.  The first novel, Storm Front, is the Staff Pick of no less than eight people in my store.  That’s right, eight.  The series is awesome, and full of phrases that you’ll quote at people.  Example from the book I’m currently reading, the thirteenth in the Dresden Files series, Ghost Story:

“It was like The Lord of the Rings and All My Children made a baby with the Macho Man Randy Savage and a Whack-A-Mole machine.”

Go ahead, try to picture how that would work out as a scene.

Harry Dresden is a sarcastic jerk, who also happens to be a wizard.   Who advertises in the Yellow Pages.  How can you resist?  He has a talking skull named Bob, too, just in case you needed a little extra incentive.  Even if you don’t normally read in the fantasy genre, you’ll probably enjoy this.  Fans of Nelson DeMille (particularly Plum Island) or Sara Paretsky will probably enjoy the series.  Definitely modern urban fantasy, elves or no elves.

Now that you’re convinced, go get Storm Front.  Feel free to pass on your favorite quotes.  Or tell me exactly how the whole LOTR soap opera wrestling whack-a-mole thing would work.  Please.

Christie

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Ultimate Zombie Defense

Did anyone else picture Zombie Sideshow Bob, here?  Anyone?

Christie

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I Take My Books Everywhere

Sometimes, you just don’t want to put a book down.  For anything.  I’ve read while cooking (not always a good idea, unless you like everything Cajun-style).  I read on transit, in waiting rooms, during breaks, during dinner… My Kobo only makes it better because I can carry a whole library of books around with me.  I actually look forward to lines or bus rides, because voila, excuse for reading.  I am a newly cheerful “waiter”.  When I was a kid, I had a captain’s bed, so no nightstand.  You know how most kids have stuffed animals on their  beds?  I had books.  So many, it was hard to find room for me.

One of my customers told me she puts her Vox into a ziploc bag, and reads in the bath.  Many read on the treadmill.   I haven’t quite gone that far.  I’ve heard from people who read while walking (I have done this myself, beware of posts), read while driving (and you thought cell phones were bad), and even a friend in high school  who picked up a book and started reading while making out with his girlfriend (now that’s a good book – and a suddenly single guy).

What lengths have you gone to to read a book?    Had any book disasters because of your inability to put it down? Bathtub drownings, subway track deaths, eaten by wild animals?

Christie

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Kobo Vox + Google Play Update

I have some more information now as I’ve seen more people with the update – or without it.

Vox users who haven’t had the update installed may find that apps have stopped working.  You can manually trigger the update by (making sure you’re connected to WiFi first) going to the menu for your home screen and selecting “settings”, and then scrolling to the bottom of that page and choosing “about Kobo”.  The first option should be to check for updates.  This is a big download, and can take a while, so make sure your Vox is fully charged, and you don’t have anywhere you need to go before you start it.

You may need to re-download the apps from Google Play, because it is very sensitive to which version of the app you have.  If you try to launch it and it doesn’t work, look for the “Play” icon on your “all apps” screen.  From there you should be able to do a search for it.  So far, ironically, I’ve found that the search function on Google Play is terrible.  You can put in the exact name of the app, and get pages and pages of add-ons for it, but not the app itself.  If this happens, use your browser to go to the site for the app and download it, which if it’s Google approved, should trigger the download through the Google Play marketplace.  If it’s not Google approved, it will give you a stern talking to about how you can’t download apps that might not be safe.

You may also initially have some error messages with widgets, but that should stop after a reboot.

<sarcasm/>Definitely a huge improvement</sarcasm>

Christie

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Fifty Shades of Danger

Some of my worst fears about Fifty Shades of Grey‘s influence are coming true.

According to Brandon Wade, CEO and founder of SeekingArrangement.com , the site traffic is up.  Way up.  What is SeekingArrangement.com ? It is a self-proclaimed “Elite Sugar Daddy Dating Site”.  Eep.  The site, even without the Fifty Shades association, is creepy enough.

Now, however, new ladies are signing up, using “Fifty Shades” as a descriptor for the type of relationship they’re looking for.  Men are adding it to their profile.  Oh good.  That much easier for people to find dysfunctional relationships.  And daddy issues.  These people are strangers, ladies, remember?  No matter how much the site promises background checks.

Here are the results of a disturbing interview bostinno.com had with Wade on the topic:

Wade, a former MIT student, said 24.8% of the sites active female members—representing 186,000 around the world—specifically want to find the same arrangement that the book’s main character Anastasia Steel has with lover Christian Grey.

“One of  the things we noticed a few months ago was that the term ‘Fifty Shades’ and the two main characters’ names started appearing in people’s profiles. It got us really curious to what was going on,” said Wade.

The book describes the relationship of the couple as two people “[who] embark on a daring, passionately physical affair.” But it gets much deeper than that. The novel explores the fiery fling between Grey, a rich entrepreneur with a love for bondage and handcuffs, who is prone to spending money and buying gifts for Anastasia, in exchange for her time.

“We noticed a parallel between the story and the type of arrangements people look for on the website,” said Wade. “It is a sugar daddy, sugar lady story….it’s a very similar story to relationships that happen on seeking arrangements.”

Of the 1.6 million people with profiles on SeekingArrangements.com, the term “Fifty Shades” is mentioned 28,382 times; Christian Grey is mentioned 23,102 times; and Anastasia Steel is mentioned 18,281 times, according to statistics provided to BostInno.

“The results were quite enlightening. A huge percentage of the women were really into this stuff,” he said.

Since the beginning of this year, 12.6 percent of all sign ups were connected to the erotica novel, both male and female. When users sign-up, they are asked a series of questions, and Wade said they used this data to connect the new members and their preference for “Fifty Shades.”

“[We] ran stats to find out how much the words were used, and asked members when they logged in if they had read the book and how many were there because of the book,” he said.

Wade said while these types of arrangements are still frowned upon by the general public, more people have become open to the idea since the release and explosive sales of the novel.

“I think we are the number one beneficiary in terms of the book. People are also selling more handcuffs and other types of sex toys, too, I’m sure,” he said.

Beyond the drastic increase in references to the book, or number of new sign ups, what has truly intrigued Wade since the books hit shelves is the fact that so many people read “Fifty Shades” in public places.

“It is becoming more mainstream,” he said.

Here are some other members interests based on stats that tie to themes in the book:

  • 79% of women members found the idea of succumbing to a ‘Dominant’ male like Grey a turn on.
  • 90% of male members said they found the idea of woman being a ‘Submissive’ like Steele exciting
  • 43% said they were more likely to use handcuffs during role play.
  • 47% wanted to experiment with blindfolds and other bondage gear.

 

One very smart lady of my acquaintance made the point that books allow you to feel the experience of danger, without actually being in it (she still doesn’t want to read Fifty Shades).  At  this point, however, the danger may not be imaginary any more.

Christie

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Fifty Shades of Gr-Eh

Fifty Shades of Grey as written by a Canuck?  Oh hell yeah.

Scott Feschuk’s Fifty Shades of Eh.  Awesome.

http://www2.macleans.ca/2012/06/24/forbidden-passion-unspeakable-politeness/

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